Pissed off

Dear blog,

It's 2346 and I'm still awake. I need to wake up at 7 tomorrow! I'll sleep after telling you things that are bothering me now.

I feel that I'm the dumbest person on earth for accepting my current job. It doesn't pay well and there's no CPF. I don't really get to make new friends except for 2 friendly adults. The office is not very accessible, which means I have to walk quite a bit. And I'm not even sure if I'll get to pick up any new skills that would be useful in the future.

If the pay is good, I wouldn't feel this bad because at least I get to heal myself with retail therapy.

And if I get to make new friends, I wouldn't feel this bad because new (and genuine) friendships are priceless.

And if I get to learn new and super useful skills, I wouldn't feel this bad because they will come in handy one day.

On hindsight, I should have taken up the social work+admin job at Bedok because it will be much more meaningful and fulfilling, even if the pay is lower than what I'm gonna get and even if the freaking adult fare is so expensive.

And what's most infuriating is that the value they attached to my time is kind of insulting. I think my time is worth more than that. Or at least I can spend my time doing something more meaningful. But this is my own fault since I said okay myself.

I don't really know how to quit or fight for better welfare in such situations.

What a stupid gal. Fuck you Sereney.

See, my self-hate is acting up. And I start scolding myself without feeling any better. But I'll just keep scolding. FML, I don't know what I'm doing. Someone tell me how to un-hate self and what to do now.

Love,
fucking me. Go eat shit.